The illusive inspiration

We are offered only glimpses,

deconstructed pieces of thought,

tangents of vague images.

They dangle just beyond our grasp

The creative must be patient,

Disciplined enough to wait

For clarity

Trusting enough to know

it’s only a matter of time

we follow the subconscious into the shadow

Out of our safe space

Into unknown places where ideas have many different facets

Like diamonds they wait

Beneath stone

they are barely discernable until they fully form

and once we see just a glimpse of what we seek

all we desire is more’

more facets of the unseen form

more hiding places for the idea

for lessons in the shadows

wisdoms in the dark

and after each valley, we wait

for that voice to clearly speak again

it has no color, no form nor name

all we know after each plateau

we’re never again the same…

I keep going in the studio, looking for that feeling and for some reason I just can't paint in oils, it's too committed and I feel anxious, unable to settle in. I've been using pastels, they are quick and easier to pick up and put down.

I know when the feeling intensifies, there will be no stopping nor delaying painting but for now, I'm just on the edge of inspiration. I am starting to get images, clear images that have seemed illusive until now.

I am painting the third in the series of large oils, the swallows, although this one is the smallest one and the most atmospheric and detailed of the three. It is called the celebration and it's a swarm of swallows mingling with dark clouds in the distance.

Another painting is Calvary, it was an immediate inspiration and just stalled terribly. There are rich colors of stained glass and strange skies that are a bit out of my normal palette of colors.

I'm also painting a scene from under water from literally thirty or more years ago when I was scuba diving off the coast of New Jersey. The problem is capturing under water from memory but also the deep richness of intense ultramarine blue. You can see why I have stalled, it's either there or it's not, there is no faking it.